Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
