How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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