I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just sucked dick on a ferry
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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