i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
