Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
