she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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