nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We're too hungover to prance.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
