True but thats because hes a fetus.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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