is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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