you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
