Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The best revenge is premature balding
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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