yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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