I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
