After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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