it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
ok first of all what the fuck
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
