in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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