My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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