Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
