pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
