Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
