So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
