and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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