I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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