so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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