why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
