Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
