She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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