I can tuck mytits in my pants
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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