I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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