Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
