He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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