i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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