Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
