isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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