You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
