Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
