You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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