matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
