Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
porn star boner night. come get it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
