Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
