Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
