this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
