so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
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I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
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The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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