How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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