She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
They took my balls.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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