It's like God shit irony all over that family
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
