just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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