I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
