i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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