It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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