Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
