Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Randomize
