Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Sext me about skeletons
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
