I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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