I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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