All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
