I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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