that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
