I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
