Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
