yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
