That's intense
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
