ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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