The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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