Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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