we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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